Bracing Ourselves Through Bangkok, Thailand: Winter Break Part Five

Tuesday, December 27, 2022

Don Mueang International Airport: ท่าอากาศยานดอนเมือง

After a short 1 hour and 15-minute flight from Siem Reap, we landed in Bangkok around 6:00 pm. After an easy trip through immigration, baggage claim, and customs, we jumped in a Grab SUV and made the 30-minute journey to downtown Bangkok to our AirBnB. Following a fairly simple AirBnB check-in, we jumped in another Grab for a night adventure at Mikkeller Bangkok!

Mikkeller Bangkok

If you aren’t a regular of our blogs, Katie and I have visited numerous Mikkeller breweries throughout Asia: Tokyo x3, Seoul, Singapore and San Diego (not in Asia, but it is the only Mikkeller in North America). Katie discovered during her research for the trip that there was a Mikkeller brewery in Bangkok, so we knew we’d have to check it out!

After another short cab (you’ll discover soon we took a ton of cabs; Bangkok isn’t very walkable), we made it to Mikkeller. As we ordered drinks, we were saddened to learn that the kitchen was closed on Tuesdays. With growling bellies, we decided to check the Grab App, and thank goodness they offered food delivery, similar to Uber Eats. After searching what restaurants in the area offered delivery on the app, we landed on…you guessed it…McDonald’s.

I would like to state, on the record, that Katie and I rarely eat McDonald’s, especially since we’ve moved abroad and have tons of great food options. Unfortunately, we’re dealing with Ryan Kimble, who only survived through Vietnam and Cambodia by eating fried rice twice a day, so our delivery dining options were between McDonald’s & KFC. But give us credit, ordering food on a Thai app through Google Translation screenshots isn't very easy, so we were just happy when the delivery guy arrived with our nuggets and fries!

After a few more drinks and scarfing down our chicken nuggets, we headed back to the AirBnB with heavier backpacks... if you know us, you know we "permanently borrow" brewery glasses from our travels. This time around, we bought two up front, and magically ended up with two spares in our backpack. I mean, Cady and Ryan had to get glasses too!

Katie and I can now say that the only Mikkeller brewery left for us to visit in Asia is the Taipei location in Taiwan; hopefully, we’ll be able to visit there before our orders come in this summer.

We made it back to our AirBnB before too late and were happy to enjoy a night where we could "sleep in" a little!

Wednesday, December 28, 2022

After a good night’s sleep, we jumped in a cab towards The Grand Palace. I would like to add that not only is Bangkok not very walkable, but the public transportation system kind of sucks. You could take a cab in really bad traffic and get to the palace in 28 minutes, you could take a bus or train and get there in 41 minutes, or you could walk and get there in an hour and 10. Even though it might be marginally more expensive, we decided to cab everywhere just to save time.

After ANOTHER 30ish minute cab ride to The Grand Palace, the meter said our fare would be 95 Baht (equates to roughly $3). I had taken out some cash the day prior when we landed in the airport, but the smallest bill I had was 1000 Baht (about $30 USD), so I handed him the bill assuming he would have change.

Unfortunately, he did not, so there’s this awkward moment where I tell everyone to stay in the car while I run around trying to find some street vendor to break my 1000 Baht bill. After what felt like 10 minutes of looking around (realistically it was 45 seconds), Katie, Ryan and Cady get out of the car; Ryan gave him $3 in American cash and they called it square. Thank goodness Ryan had a little bit of American cash left from our Cambodia trip!

I would also like the record to state: what cab driver doesn't have change?! Pretty sure he was trying to pull one over on us...but that's what we get for being a tourist in Bangkok.

The Grand Palace: พระบรมมหาราชวัง

Now on to the Grand Palace. As we were walking down the sidewalk, we were told by numerous street vendors selling all sorts of crazy patterned clothes that we needed to wear pants inside the Grand Palace. The girls had packed cover-ups since females are required to cover their shoulders and knees in temples, but men have always had slacker rules.

As we walked up to the entrance of the Palace, we were informed that males also have to wear pants. I was actually upset, not because I had to wear pants, but because they don’t advertise that information anywhere. In all the blogs Katie read and all the research prepping for this trip, nothing said men had to have pants.

I would’ve brought a change of pants had I known, but instead, it’s almost like they hope to catch you wearing shorts so they can force you to buy some crummy elephant pants from a street vendor. Well, that’s exactly what we did. So if you see me wearing some very ugly, crazy, elephant pants, it’s because the Grand Palace requires men to wear pants, but they decided not to tell anyone about it until you get up to the gate.

Ryan also had to buy $4 elephant pants, but he was more excited about his technicolored pants than I was! Anyways, now off of my soapbox.

We finally get into the palace after paying our rather steep entrance fee. Ok, it was only like $15/person, but I’m already salty about paying $4 for pants and running around trying to break a large bill for a taxi ride earlier this morning, so my mood isn't really the best. Also, when you have grown accustomed to buying full 5-star meals for $5 in Southeast Asia, a $15 entrance fee is pretty steep.

After fighting crazy crowds of tourists around the palace grounds, we finally made it to the main attraction of the Royal Palace: the emerald Buddha. As we weasel our way inside the temple with every other white person in the city, we saw the emerald Buddha and thought, “oh cool, it’s like every other Buddha statue we’ve seen, but this one’s made of green stone.” Our Japan travels have spoiled us! But Katie reminded me that this temple experience was more for Ryan and Cady, who have never experienced a Buddhist temple, so I took some deep breaths and continued through the tourist funnel.

During our temple tour, Katie and I took an illegal picture inside the temple. As we turned to take a photo, hoping Ryan would snap one quickly, a Thai security guard ran up behind me and covered my eyes with his hands. It made me a little uncomfortable, but at least Ryan was able to snap one picture prior to him showing up. The Kimbles have learned well- smile, snap, run.

If you look closely above our heads, that bright light is shining on the emerald Buddha statue. By my elbow, you can see the green uniform of the guard coming to wave his hand in my face! Here's that illicit photo:

Pretty cool pic! Thanks, Ryan!

As you can tell from the photos, the palace was covered in gold and jewels. It was a really pretty palace! I think the massive crowds, though, took away from the splendor in person. There were so many tourists, many posing for social media photoshoots and blocking the walkways, that the palace felt quite inauthentic and more like a tourist trap.

After walking around the Grand Palace and MARVELING at the emerald Buddha, Cady and Katie were looking pretty drained, so Ryan and I led the way to the nearest Starbucks for a pick-me-up! We enjoyed a few minutes in the AC as we replenished our caffeine needs before bracing ourselves for the next stop: Wat Pho.

Wat Phra Chetuphon (Wat Pho): วัดพระเชตุพนวิมลมังคลาราม (วัดโพธิ์)

With our energy levels replenished, we made our way over to Wat Phra Chetuphon, home of the reclining gold Buddha. After putting my pants back on (I refused to wear those pants around town), we made it inside the temple.

The reclining gold Buddha, in my opinion, was actually much more impressive than the emerald Buddha. It was huge: 150 feet long and 50 feet tall, and the massive statue was surrounded by beautiful paintings on the walls.

After circumnavigating the statue, fighting the crowds, and clutching our belongings the entire time, we exited the temple. We had been warned that pickpocketing is a big thing in Bangkok, so you will notice I'm clutching our bag the entire time. Mostly, I kept our bookbag flipped around and over my chest so I could keep my hands on the zippers the whole time.

Before heading to the Royal Theatre, we grabbed a complimentary bottle of water; yet another reason to think this temple was much better than the Grand Palace. We enjoyed our water while exploring the temple's grounds and seeing more stupahs (like the ones we learned about in Cambodia during our water blessing!)

Sala Chalermkrung Royal Theatre: โรงมหรสพหลวงศาลาเฉลิมกรุง

Following our adventures of checking out unique Buddha statues, we headed to the Sala Chalermkrung Royal Theatre to watch a traditional Thai dancing performance. This show was included with our $15 entrance fee for the Palace, so we were sure to get our money's worth!

The show lasted about 30 minutes and was an artistic representation of numerous Hindu/Buddhist folk stories. The most familiar story follows the Hindu monkey god as he journeys into the sea and falls in love with a mermaid. We had seen this Hindu tale illustrated on teh walls at the Thai temples and back in Cambodia too, so seeing it performed live was a unique experience. It was really cool, and it was also nice to be in the air conditioning for a little while!

Pad Thai Kratong Thong

After the show, it was time for lunch, and we knew that because Ryan was getting hangry. AT one point we compared Ryan to a toddler; he would be super grumpy if he was hungry, had to use the bathroom, or was tired. This time, he outrageously said, “My head hurts because my blood sugar is low.” This man just made some crap up about being diabetic because he was hungry…goodness gracious, give me a break. Of course, Katie, Cady and I didn't let him live down his "low blood sugar" comment for the rest of the trip!

Anyways, after trying to figure out a place to eat so we could get this poor boy some food, we landed on a popular Pad Thai spot near the reclining gold Buddha temple. After waiting about 10 minutes to get a table (we knew it was going to be good if it had a wait time), we finally got inside.

Does anyone want to guess what Ryan ordered? Yep, fried rice with egg. The boy is anything but adventurous, but at least his blood sugar was evening out with his ice-cold Pepsi! Katie, Cady, and I ordered three different versions of their Pad Thai. Pad Thai is essentially a stir-fried rice noodle dish commonly made with rice noodles, shrimp, peanuts, scrambled egg, bean sprouts, and other vegetables. All three of our Pad Thai dishes were delicious! Katie and I may have peer-pressured Cady into a round-robin taste of all the different entrees but she didn't seem to mind.

I was also very excited to order Thai tea after I had it for the first time on our trip to Beppu back in December 2021, so I ordered a hot Thai tea to go with my meal. It wasn’t quite as sweet as the tea in Beppu, but it was still delicious, and clearly very authentic. Cady ordered another specialty drink, but Katie was by far the most adventurous with her beverage: an expresso shot in a honey lemon tea. I mean, my wife does love lemon and she loves coffee, but I never would have thought to put them together. She said it was a pretty strange combo, but she seemed to enjoy it with her meal!

Overall, the food was amazing and I have to give our first experience with eating authentic Thai food a 10/10.

SOOKSIAM: สุขสยาม

After lunch, we jumped in another cab to SOOKSIAM, a floating market/mall about a 20-minute ride away. Unfortunately, this cabbie wasn’t running the meter but instead required us to barter with him based on how far away the ride was. We settled on a price and jumped into the car. Throughout the entire trip, I had Google Maps giving me directions in the passenger seat of every single cab ride, just to make sure our driver wasn’t taking us somewhere off the beaten path.

Well, our driver doesn’t take the recommended path, he immediately makes a U-Turn, taking us in a completely different direction. I just assumed he knew some backway route that even Google wasn’t aware of. After about ten minutes or so of us going in the completely wrong direction, I show him the map to try and get us back on course.

He then tries to explain to me (mind you there’s a serious language barrier here), that it’s too far away and that the cost would now be more expensive. We decided that the price he was asking for was ridiculous, especially considering he’s the one that drove in the wrong direction to begin with. So I pulled out 100 Baht just to get him to pull over and let us out, because jumping out of a moving vehicle in a third-world country didn’t sound like a good idea. $3 poorer, and further away from our destination, I booked a Grab because I knew it would be reliable and get us to our exact destination with no haggling.

At this point, we are all frustrated and getting pretty tired of the stunts being pulled by cab drivers. After a 15-minute wait for the Grab, and a 25-minute ride to SOOKSIAM, we had finally made it, only having lost time and 100 Baht. I wouldn’t say our journey was a success, but at least we made it in one piece.

We ventured through the market checking out all of the cool crafts and artwork for sale. SOOKSIAM is an indoor market that was designed to mimic ancient Thai water markets. The little boutiques were pretty cool to walk through and we enjoyed snapping pictures of the shopping center, but we ended up not buying anything. Cady and Ryan found these cool passport covers they wanted, but the personalization was going to take 3 hours, so they opted out.

After exploring for an hour or so, we decided to head towards the Sky Bar, where they filmed a scene from The Hangover: Part 2. This time, we were able to walk, so no haggling with a cabbie!

The walk, including a short ferry ride across the river, took about 15 minutes. The Sky Bar is located on the 63rd floor of a 820-ft. skyscraper and is famous for its appearance in The Hangover: Part Two, so this was a must-do for Ryan. As we walked up to the ground floor entrance, we were stopped by a security guard who informed us that, yet again, we have to have pants on in order to enter the bar. No big deal, Katie and Cady have their cover-ups while Ryan and I have our snazzy elephant pants we bought earlier that day to enter the Grand Palace. So we pull those out to really shock the bartender in our fancy new attire.

But, wait, we apparently aren’t allowed to wear those pants into the bar. Ryan and I would have to rent a pair of dress pants from this lady conveniently selling pants outside of the building. By this point, I'm over the swindling. We decided as a group that it wasn’t worth paying $15 to rent a pair of pants just to go to an overpriced martini bar. Ryan wasn't happy and made sure to get his point across by reminding the group that the first Hangover movie was better anyways!

Jack's Bar

After being deflated by this letdown, we were scrambling to find a bar within walking distance just to rest our feet and get something to drink. We found Jack’s Bar which had a ton of reviews and had around 4.5/5 stars on Google Reviews. So we headed that way in hopes that a good drink next to the river would lift our spirits.

As we walked up, we noticed it’s an open-air bar right next to the river, so maybe it would have pretty good vibes. Unfortunately for us, this didn’t seem like the type of establishment that used filtered water for their ice, so we’d be limited to bottled drinks (soda, beer, wine). Couple that with the fact that the staff was rude and they refused to sit us close to the river even though there were multiple tables available, we decided that this place wasn’t a winner either.

Katie and I split a pretty crappy bottled Thai beer while Ryan and Cady each got a Coke. We drank our drinks as quickly as we could, left exact change for our drinks on the table then bounced. For those counting, this would be letdown #5 of the day (cab #1, buying pants at Grand Palace, bad cab driver #2, Sky Bar, Jack’s Bar); Bangkok has not been super kind to us today.

Sunset Dinner Cruise at เอเชียทีค เดอะ ริเวอร์ฟรอนท์

Following our poor experience at Jack’s (which Katie was sure to share on Google Reviews), we haggled with another cabbie to get us down to the Asiatique at The Riverfront Pier to board our Sunset Dinner Cruise.

We were super excited just to be on a boat, where nothing had to be planned, and we could just enjoy a buffet and the view of the Bangkok skyline at night. As dinner was served, we ordered a couple of drinks to help us settle down after an eventful day. The spread of food was pretty impressive and most of it was quite good. Everyone particularly enjoyed the carving station and, of course, the fried rice. (*cough, cough* Ryan!)

During our meal, we were “serenaded” by a lovely Thai woman attempting to sing American hit songs. Now I don’t want to say she was bad, because there may be an issue with the language barrier, but not only did she not know the lyrics to said American hits, but she was also not a very good singer. After eating, we hurried to the bow of the ship to enjoy the open air and some quiet space. We also wanted to get better pictures of the city and the temples we visited earlier in the day from the Chao Phraya River!

The dinner cruise was definitely a highlight after a day filled with disappointments! After the cruise, we had to go barter, yet again, to get a cab back to our AirBnB. Once we arrived, we quickly showered and were in bed at 11:00 pm, ready for another day of adventure and travel tomorrow.

Thursday, December 29, 2022

Cabbages & Condoms: ស្ពៃក្តោប & ស្រោមអនាម័យ

Since our first full day in Bangkok wasn’t a major success, we decided today would be a slower day. We wanted to start the day on the right foot, so we headed down the street to a restaurant called Cabbages and Condoms. Now, this place probably seems a little crazy in name, but the breakfast food was awesome!

While waiting for our meal to arrive, we learned that this restaurant was developed after a public speaker argued that people should have just as much access to proper sex education as they do to common vegetables. Thus the concept for Cabbage & Condoms came about: a fun restaurant that funds sex education in Thai schools and lower-class neighborhoods was created!

We enjoyed cups of coffee and some traditional Thai breakfast dishes, while also giggling like middle schoolers at the condom table top and the Santa Clause statue made entirely of condoms.

King Power Mahanakhon: ตึกคิงเพาเวอร์ มหานคร

skywalk

After breakfast, we headed to the King Power Mahankhon building where we would do a skywalk from 78 stories above the streets of Bangkok. When this building was originally built in 2014, it was the tallest building in Thailand, but now it is famous for its 78th-story glass platform that allows you to peer over the city!

After storing our bags in the provided lockers, we made our way up the elevator to the top of the tower. After exploring and getting great 360-degree views of downtown, it was time to complete the Skywalk on the roof! After covering our shoes with these special covers they gave us, we (Cady, Katie and I) walked out onto a glass floor and looked straight down at the ground below us. Ryan is afraid of heights, so he decided to hang back and snap pictures of us!

After our skywalk, we headed back to the ground level and grabbed a tuk-tuk back to our AirBnB. This time around, we got a true, Thai tuk-tuk ride that was designed for 2 people. The driver was willing to cram all 4 of us in his metal cart of death, so Katie took the worst seat on the floor and we held on for dear life!

Chiang Mai International Airport: ท่าอากาศยานเชียงใหม่

After picking up our bags, we jumped in a Grab and made the 30-minute drive back to the airport. We arrived at the airport around 3:00 pm and checked in for our 8:00 pm flight. Did we spend five hours at the airport playing Euchre and Hearts in the McDonald’s? Yes. Were we all okay with it? Absolutely.

After taking so many Ls in Bangkok, we were okay with getting out of there as quickly as we could. Even though Bangkok didn’t live up to our expectations, I mean, let's be real, the rest of our trip has been packed with great experiences in Vietnam and Cambodia! As we catch our flight out of Bangkok, we have high hopes that Chiang Mai will make up for the Bangkok blues.

Stick around for the grand finale of our winter tour through SE Asia!

Yours, always,

Bryan